I will never EVERRRRR forget sitting in Ms. Morris's junior english class and being updated on my friend's progress toward birthing her little girl. When my classmates explained exactly what it means when someone is so many centimeters "dilated," all the blood drained out of my face and I nearly fainted. Who knew that was a thing???
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| Super Mom hard at work! |
My sophmore year in college, I took a psychology of women class where we discussed an article that really stuck with me. Written in the 1970's by--well, sorry gods of plagiarism! it was a long time ago-- that talked about how degrading it is to be "inseminated" by a man, deal with the nuisances that come with growing a fetus, and the body deforming act of giving birth. In fact, until the 1930's the most "natural" thing in the entire world (childbirth) was also the leading cause of death of women. Although modern medicine has greatly reduced the mortality rate, no one can deny that pregnancy complications and the actual labor process is physically burdensome, if not outright dangerous, to mothers.
The article called for a system that would basically act as a mechanical surrogate mother. On paper, in regards to health, it sounds great: no morning sickness; no babies born addicted to crack or damaged by alcohol; no miscarriages by car-crashes or falling; no malnourished babies; no strangulation from the umbilical cord; no emergency c-sections. Regarding women, it also sounds wonderful: not having to deal with the politics of "being pregnant" at work; no loss of income or missing out on promotions due to maternity leave; no aches and pains and hormones to deal with; no recovery time needed.
What the article misses, though, slapped me in the face today.
In a writing prompt to "The Blue Sword," my professor questioned a paper that said to be a woman warrior means you are rejecting the feminine realm of motherhood and the home. Because men are traditionally the warrior heroes, in order to be a female hero, you must kill men. How dare one think of such! In the end, all women warriors must be "tamed" through sexual activity resulting in child birth, through death, or both.
wait....what?????????????
What I guess I have been focused on for so long- the negative aspects of child birth and pregnancy- completely discounts the fact that it is an HONOR and a incredible, god-like ability that women possess that allows them to carry a child for 9 months and bring new life into the world. Is being a mother really seen so negatively that it can be used as a literary device to punish heroic female characters?
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| Shout out to Janis :) Love you Mom! |
To be both physically and mentally strong enough to make the sacrifices that go along with growing a fetus inside of you.... mothers of the world-- I am in awe of you. How dare I equate this beautiful act of love, this self-less giving of one's body, time, and money with unequal pay between the sexes and a male-dominated congress.
It's time to STOP telling stay-at-home mothers that they are worth less than their wage-earning husbands. Its time to STOP judging the moms that are able to balance being professional career woman one minute, then kisser of scraped knees the next. Its time to STOP devaluing the very thing that made all of you reading this even possible- your mom. Not to discount fathers! But it is a whole heck of a lot easier for men in terms of investing resources that result in a child; interesting, considering that children "carry on the father's name" and are seen as trophies of their father's incredible masculinity.
Valerie Estelle Frankel’s From Girl to Goddess book talks about how women are usually viewed as either the damsel in distress or the asexual knight encased in her armor.
"The heroine’s true role is to be neither hero nor his prize. The archetypal goddess, or Great Mother . . . was worshipped as the ultimate creator, the vessel of emerging power and source of all life. Girls emulate that path on their journeys by forming a family circle they can rule as supreme nurturer and protector. Here emerges a different story veiled beneath the hero’s, but just as ancient, just as valid, just as universal and empowering. Here is the heroine’s journey."
When did masculinity and brute strength become "worth" more than giving life? Goddesses like Isis, Demeter, Athena were worshiped right alongside their male counterparts. (Its interesting that all "modern" one god religions- Buddhism, Judaism, Christianity, ect- are male-based. In fact, Catholicism goes so far as to say women aren't "worthy" of being priests or speaking as church elders. Karl Marx said that "Religion is the opiate of the masses".....but thats another topic.) Frankel continues,
"Women’s work, nowadays devalued as folk craft and biological urges and time wasting, is the work that has conquered and preserved nations. It is as White Buffalo Calf Woman told the Lakota women: The work of their hands and the fruit of their bodies keep the people alive. “You are from the Mother Earth,” she said. “What you are doing is as great as warriors do.”
Starting right now, I will no longer think of my strengths in comparison to a man's strengths: yes you (stereotypically) are likely stronger, more aggressive, and more power oriented than I, but I (stereotypically) am likely more compassionate, nurturing, and community oriented than you. Being a mother isn't the end-all, be-all of being a woman, but its time we -myself included- recognize that being a mother isn't being less than anyone else. Honestly, being a mother is officially worth more than a lot of things in my book.
Until next time,
Brooke
P.S. Children are not for every one. By no means am I implying that choosing to not have children makes you "less than" someone who chooses to become a mom or dad! Simply put, this article means that instead of discounting motherhood or saying someone is "just" a mom, we should honor the beauty and love behind the sacrifices that moms make; during pregnancy and labor, and continuing forever.
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