Mind Your Own Business

What society says is "right"

I remember how 7th grade girl's athletics would be the next period after lunch. Have you ever ran "horses" right after devouring chili cheese fries? Basketball practice with Coach Oliver was NOT going to be pleasant post-lunch... so we 13 years old "athletes" did what any person would do: we just didn't eat. I will never forget the locker room talk that came from parental concerns about our protruding ribs and knobby knees: Momma Shaw telling us this is unacceptable, and that to be healthy, you must eat. 

Its funny how exercising for a 50 min class period, then 2 hour volleyball practice, followed by a 2 hour cheerleading practice every day can whittle a person down. Its funny how hours spent at basketball tournaments and track invitationals can deplete fat stores into nearly nothing. 

Although I'm much more comfortable these days at 22, I can still hear the voices of my classmates' accusations, "You're anorexic aren't you?? I KNOW you are!" I can still hear my parent's worry as they ask if something is the matter, if I need help, that they're concerned. I can still recall the exact moment, where I was, and what I was wearing when my high school boyfriend told me that his friends had asked him how he can even hug me without breaking me.

I can still feel the shame of being "skinny."

Love yourself! Everyone else can Kick Rocks Eat Glass.

Turns out, I'm not alone in this. "Skinny-Shaming"-- the practice of embarrassing or degrading a person for their body being subjectively "below average"-- is exactly what I was, and still am put through. This is not a "poor me, people are so mean!" post: no one should feel embarrassed about their body, and all the "real men don't want bones" and the "real women have curves" billboards send the message that I am both unwanted, and also not a woman. So apparently I'm an alien? A child? A sea monster? Its another way that I have been judged inadequate by those around me. 

How dare the number on the scale be used to define who I am. Why would it EVER be appropriate to make snippy comments about how much I, or anyone else, weighs? When I think about all the forced down food, day in and day out, that I painfully stuffed myself with; all the unwanted swallows that proved to others that - no- in fact, I am "normal," ..... 

Well now I'm just angry.

Family members, classmates, strangers on the streets... think first of how your words affect another person. If I had reversed their comments of 

YOU are more than your body

1. "WOW you skinny bitch! How about some junk food!" 
2. "Do you ever eat??" 
3. "Here, let me make you a sandwich, you're the one that needs it..." 

 into something like 

1. "WOW fat-ass how about breathing, too?" 
2. "Do you ever stop eating??" 
3. "Let me take that food off your hands, you clearly don't need it..."

can you see how hurtful this can be? 

I am PROUD to be who I am. I understand that there is a societal "thin privilege,"and I am sorry for those who, because of disease or disability, are overweight. But pardon my lack of sympathy for the men and women who think their body is anyone's fault but their own. If you do not like your own body, do not take it out on me. Instead of belittling the women who park far away from the store entrance, who take the stairs, who skip dessert every now and then-- how about go exercise? How about go improve your SELF before you get the "privilege" to judge others. Better yet, how about you keep your unsolicited opinions to yourself. 

My biggest pet peeve in the entire world is hearing "GOSHHH IM SO FATTTTT" right after watching someone devour 4 pizza slices to go with their large Dr. Pepper. Do you remember the last time you went to the gym? How about the last time you stopped eating before you went into a semi-food coma? According to the CDC, 1/3 of American adults are obese; considering the number one cause of death (heart disease) is related to obesity, the fact seems significant. 

We need to change how we view both our own and other's bodies by their ratio of muscle to fat to blood to bone, into judging by what a body and a mind can accomplish. If all you do is watch netflix and eat chips, I really don't feel bad for you if you're packing a few pounds. Likewise, if you eat healthily and make lifestyle choices encouraging your longevity and ability to perform life skills-- keep it up! Go run that marathon girl! But don't let the words of others define you.

In the words of Mr. Glenn Marla, "There is no wrong way to have a body." Worry about your health first, your ideas second, and your physical "size" last. 

XOXO,

Brooke