Tuesday, May 13, 2014
In my social psychology class we discussed emotions and how the sexes feel them, use them, and perpetrate them. Its actually quite fascinating if you're into that kind of thing. As early as 1931 research has shown that, contrary to popular belief, it is actually the men that are the more emotional of the two genders, although only slightly.
Think about it. Who resorts to violence when someone bumps into them at a party by accident? The guys. Who feels the need to shut down marital conflicts, rather than talk it out and discuss the problem? Men again. Even in infant studies baby boys are more likely to have angry outbursts and throw temper tantrums than little girls are. Elementary school aged boys seek exciting rough and tumble games, but when disputes arise are known to resort to arbitrary rules made up on the spot, sometimes going so far as to "replay" the event rather than admit someone is wrong. Perhaps its not that men are as stoic as the act they like to give off- its simply that we live in a culture that says men aren't allowed to be emotional- so they run from it. Because of the roller coaster that is the male psyche, men may work harder than women do to avoid having emotions in the first place.
Don't get me wrong fellas, I do not pretend that we girls aren't sometimes a bit emotional, but for pete's sake can we all stop using "crazy" as a cop out for your own lack of emotional security?
One of my very good friends was telling me recently about how her guy said she was overreacting because his first snapchat best friend was his recent ex, while she wasn't in the top three. Was it a big deal? Maybe it was, maybe it wasn't, but the point is this: instead of saying something like, "We are actually still friends, but I'm sorry you are feeling insecure about it. I am with you because I want you so please understand that me and my ex ended for a reason." No, instead he hit her with, "Wow stop being so crazy!"
Wait, what? Shouldn't a guy that is being faithful be cool-headed enough to have a rational excuse for such a pretty obvious betrayal of her trust? Instead, he pulled out the one word most women cannot stand to be called: the real C word. He spun the situation around so that he could get off scot-free, and she is left feeling like an insane person for daring to question him.
That may seem like a trivial story, but in reality, ladies, we know it happens entirely too much.
When your gut tells you something doesn't add up, more likely than not you are correct. Female intuition is a powerful force. Studies on brain scans from different research organizations are showing that the female brain is wired more heavily between the right and left hemispheres. This means that women are linked more strongly than men between intuition and analytical thinking. Listen to yourself! You might just be right. Don't let this power-play keep you from asking questions that deserve answers.
As for the C-word, guys? It's disrespectful. It shouldn't happen. Stop using it. Embrace your masculine emotions so we can all move on.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
First I just want to say, if you feel abortions are morally wrong, then do not get an abortion. I personally do not think I would get one, but I also have never been faced with an unwanted pregnancy. I do not have the authority to say who can or cannot go have an abortion. Neither do you, for that matter.
I think that a country of unwanted children is a hellava lot scarier than a country that allows easy access to cost-efficient abortions. Rising out of poverty is almost impossible- especially for women. Huffington Post says a full 4.1 million single-mother families are living in poverty. A full 40% of families headed by single mothers are below the poverty line, and child support is a joke. As in, it still costs about the same to raise a kid whether the kid is one-parented or two-parented. Considering the average payment wouldn't even cover daycare, we really need to make dead-beat dads step up to the plate.
Comparison of estimated expenditures* on children by single-parent
and husband-wife families, overall United States, 2004
Age of child Single-parent Husband-wife
0 - 2 $5,860 $7,040
3 - 5 $6,640 $7,210
6 - 8 $7,460 $7,250
9 - 11 $6,930 $7,220
12 - 14 $7,420 $8,070
15 - 17 $8,180 $8,000
Total $127,470 $134,370
*Estimates are for the younger child in two-child families with 2004 before-tax income less than $41,700.
And what about the child? Have you seen what student loans are running these days? Adoption is a beautiful gift of a mother to parents that are unable to conceive, but please remember that not all children are adopted. Children growing up in foster care systems are shown as social deviants on TV. The actual foster kids are known to suffer from abuses ranging from physical to verbal to sexual. Is a child better off being molested for years than never knowing of its conscience? I'm not sure.
What about the foster kids that don't get abused... just put out on the streets to fend for themselves at 18? I am 22 and my parents still pay for everything. I'm sure I couldn't do it. I just signed a petition on change.com for a foster kid that wanted her northern college to not kick her out of the dorms between breaks: she would be living under a bridge in the snow for Christmas; she didn't have a stable home to go back to on breaks.
You would think that with all this Christianly love in the pro-life crowd, some of that go-get-em attitude about stopping abortion would have people putting their money where their bull-horned mouth is. But hey, if the kid goes to bed hungry every night its okay! The kid is alive, right?
There are certain humans who will never, ever, in a billion years ever face an unwanted pregnancy. They perform the "fathering" job. These same certain humans are the one's making the laws that control the reproductive freedom of women. Its sickening. There has been a trend through time that the more powerful women get, the more eager weak men get to "put them back into their place." The easiest way to do this? By controlling when and if women become moms. The rate of abortions per 1000 women aged 15-44 has dropped, both nationwide and in Texas, by nearly 10 abortions each. You wouldn't know it judging from the bills being passed: more laws restricting abortions have been passed in the last 2 years than the previous 10 years combined. Funny considering our government literally was shut down for part of this year... priorities, people, priorities.
Most of these men running our government (Average age of the Senate is 62, House of Representatives is 57) were born during a time before birth control was legally available. It was not until 1965 that married people were even allowed to get birth control, and 1972 marked the year single people were allowed to purchase it legally. A doctor in Connecticut was convicted of helping married couples get birth control; the case went all the way to the Supreme Court before he was released from jail. Can you imagine how being raised in a time where mom vacuumed in pearls before serving dad his martini and a pot roast could influence progressive thinking? How can men raised in the 1950s be capable of thinking about women's rights fairly? They cannot.
So you think abortions are wrong: I want to be a mom someday, I get it... dead babies are terrible! But let me ask you to follow the logically argument to abortions regarding bodily autonomy. I am an organ donor. That means that when I die, my organs will be used to save the lives of those injured or the sick that are in need of my heart/lungs/kidneys because of some disease. No one has the right to steal my organs or to use them without my consent. By signing a paper that puts a little heart on my driver's license, I am consenting. Imagine now that I was not an organ donor and then was in some terrible car crash and I died. I am young. I'm relatively healthy so my organs would be in high demand; I would probably save the lives of quite a few people. It would not matter what two year old little girl or elderly grandfather around that hospital was in need of my organs- even to save their life- because I have the right to bodily autonomy. My organs cannot be used without my permission, for any reason, no matter how noble the cause.
How then is the right to choose to carry a baby to term any different? Do embryos not need a living human womb to grow? Maybe I do not want a child to use my organ (my womb/uterus) because I have a right to bodily autonomy. My possession of a vagina, uterus, and fallopian tubes is not my consent to become pregnant. Having sexual intercourse is not my consent to become pregnant. Nothing but my willingness to produce this hypothetical child could be considered consent to lease out the use of my organs, my energy, and the food necessary for growing a fetus that would die, otherwise. To say that a woman does not have the right to choose to keep, give up for adoption, or abort her own baby is to give a corpse more rights than every woman on this Earth.
I am coming at this from a practical point of view. Because all religions are a belief system that means that some people believe and some people do not believe. Otherwise, such belief would be "fact" and would not require "faith." Believe what ever you want, or believe nothing at all. Believe in Jesus. Believe in Allah. Believe in Zeus and Buddah and Osiris. Believe in little flying purple space people, if you want. Believe in nothing at all. But do not use a belief to negatively impact the availability of life changing medical procedures- life saving medical procedures- for people that choose to think differently than you.
I was raised Catholic, and I was taught in Mass and CCD classes all of my childhood that birth control is sinful. Even happily married couples that have finished with growing their little family is forbidden to use contraception by the Catholic church. Going along those teachings, I used to be the most pro-life person you could ever meet. I volunteered at the Coalition for Life in College Station. I tried to be a full-time counselor, but it didn't work out with my school schedule. I truly felt that if you are grown-up enough to have sex, you are grown-up enough to take responsibility for everything that goes with that- including a pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease.
And then I saw this billboard in class: A woman in the 1970's was on her hands and knees, and the picture frame was shot from above her head, aimed towards her feet. Her butt was in the air- naked- and her face was lying in a puddle of her own blood.... her "lover" had failed at a coat hanger abortion. When he pushed too far into her body, the sharp point had perforated her uterus:
She bleed out. He simply left.
The fact that even one young woman died in this senselessly violent tragedy has forever changed my opinion on the necessity of easy access to abortion. Please do not think I am running up and down streets skipping about all the dead babies that will never grace this earth- I am NOT. But I am insisting that the current state of affairs in Texas needs to be talked about. You should really check out How Republicans Won the Fight over Abortion in Texas. Its terrifying.
- Did you know that by September 1, 2014, there will be six places serving 26,448,193 Texans.
- Did you know that 1 in 3 women will obtain an abortion before the age of 45?
- The last two clinics- Beaumont and McAllen- in rural areas have closed. The next provider closest to McAllen is over 200 miles away.
Clearly, abortion is not an uncommon thing. The H.B.2 law lines out these restrictions starting on April 1, 2014 as follows:
- In Texas, 533,500 of the 5,404,124 women of reproductive age became pregnant in 2011. 71% of these pregnancies resulted in live births and 14% in induced abortions.
Idk about you ladies, but information designed to discourage me, then giving me a day to think about my abortion doesn't seem very woman-friendly- especially after I had just barely made up my mind that a child isn't the best choice for me right now.
- A woman must receive state-directed counseling that includes information designed to discourage her from having an abortion and then wait 24 hours before the procedure is provided.
So, a female teenager might be kicked out of their home by their parents and entire life ruined because of this parental consent clause. It happens. And if children in kindergarten are "having sex" in the bathrooms at schools in New Jersey, I would bet my bottom dollar teens are doing the same in Texas.
- The parent of a minor must consent and be notified before an abortion is provided.
So now poor women, who can't afford abortions to begin with, are now faced with what? A coat hanger? Stairs? Pills? A swift punch to the stomach? What about a bleach martini? If they can't afford an abortion, the mother probably can't afford a child either.
- Public funding is available for abortion only in cases of life endangerment, rape or incest.
The six abortion clinics will be located in Austin, Houston, Dallas, Fort Worth, and San Antonio. Kind of hard for a poor woman to come up with the $500 or so to obtain an abortion, find a ride to the clinic, then find a place to stay for the 24 hour wait period required by law. Planned parenthood is actually building a $5 million facility in San Antonio to comply with these new "regulations," so those poorer women can afford the health care. I wonder how far five million dollars would go for providing mammograms or birth-control.
- A woman must undergo an ultrasound before obtaining an abortion; the provider must show and describe the image to the woman. If the woman lives within 100 miles of an abortion provider she must obtain the ultrasound at least 24 hours before the abortion.
I hope you agree, or can at least understand, why shutting down all but 6 clinics is a big problem; whats going on? The Texas legislature is saying they want to "protect women," which I'm all for, of course. When he signed the bill into law, despite Sen. Wendy Davis's filibuster, Gov. Perry said,
"This is an important day for those who support life and for those who support the health of Texas women."Except he is wrong? The chance of dying from an abortion is 1/10 of the chance of dying from giving birth. There is no "save the women" campaign happening...Maybe controlling the women. Looks like it just might be working.
Think about it.
Thursday, April 10, 2014
|Lazy, entitled narcissists who live with their parents...|
Loan Type First Disbursed between July 1, 2013, and June 30, 2014 Direct Subsidized Loans (Undergraduate Students) Fixed at 3.86% Direct Unsubsidized Loans (Undergraduate Students) Fixed at 3.86% Direct Unsubsidized Loans (Graduate or Professional Students) Fixed at 5.41% Direct PLUS Loans (Parents and Graduate or Professional Students) Fixed at 6.41% Perkins Loans (Undergraduate and Graduate or Professional Students) Fixed at 5%
More fun news coming off the studentaid.ed.gov website?
“Most federal student loans have loan fees that are deducted proportionately from each loan disbursement you receive. This means the money you receive will be less than the amount you actually borrow. You're responsible for repaying the entire amount you borrowed and not just the amount you received.Here are the loan fees for federal student loans first disbursed on or after Dec. 1, 2013:• 1.072% for Direct Subsidized Loans and Direct Unsubsidized Loans
4.288% for Direct PLUS Loans for parents and graduate and professional students”
|Raise Your Voice- Vote!!!!|
Don't think I'm saying we should all go kill our grandparents- not at all! I just want you all to realize the situation we are facing as a generation.... and we aren't exactly being helped out by our lovely baby boomer congress.
In 2020, the youngest of the millennials will be reaching voting age; at that time, we will have a full 40% of the voting block. Get involved, do your research, and together we really can turn this around.
Thursday, April 3, 2014
|Not yo mama's Jane|
Jane Eyre Revisited
Charlotte Bronte’s classic Victorian novel Jane Eyre uses a first person narrative to illustrate the life of the title character as she moves from her wretched childhood dependent on relatives, to her time spent at Lowood getting an education and then also teaching at the charity school for the poor. The majority of the novel, however, focuses on her adult life as a governess, school teacher, and finally wife to her former employer all while provocatively exploring alternatives to long-held beliefs about the role of women, marriage, and the benevolent sexism that ran rampant in 19th century English society. Jacques Tourney’s 1943 film, I Walked With a Zombie, is thematically very similar to Jane Eyre, with specific parallels between then two immediately evident. The film originally places our protagonist as the narrator and focus of the story, but she is later shuffled to the background as our attention is shifted from her job and later love story to the circumstances surrounding the mysterious illness of her employer’s wife. Betsy, our heroine, is not even an active player in the final scene, but functions only as a bystander as the wife she is brought to St. Sebastian to treat is lifelessly carried past. By minimizing the impact of heterosexual love on the direction of the plot, being set in an exotic location, and the presence of a supernatural voodoo culture coexisting with normal society, I Walked With a Zombie reimagines Jane Eyre not simply as another adaptation of the novel, but as a modernized reworking of the classic tale that borrows specific elements from the Jane Eyre template while simultaneously introducing an independent storyline.
Tuesday, April 1, 2014
WOW! How could I be so wrong about a gender balance that favors men? Women can be anything they want to be. With the right motivation and education can't we all?
- Since 1964, male voters outnumbered female voters in every presidential election.
- BJ Gallagher (author of "The World's Best Advice from the World's Wisest Man) says men make great bosses because they are
- better coachers
- better mentors
- better problem solvers
- Men hold 98 of 535 (18%) seats in the 113th Congress
- 79 House Representative are male
- 20 Senators (plus 3 delegates) are men
- Of the 100 largest American Cities, 12 have male mayors.
- Men have better aim throwing a baseball at all ages.
- 2012 elections saw 5 male state governors elected.
- multitasking test had 50 men and 50 women do four tasks in 8 minutes: results show men better able to reflect on problems while also doing others tasks
- men are better at multitasking
- James Flynn is a researcher that found the IQs of men in the US, Europe, Canada are higher than women's
- men are smarter
- Bureau of Labor Statistics says that since the Recession hit in 2007, 80% of the workers who lost their jobs were women.
- men are recession proof
- Harvard Business Review recently published a study on male to female leadership ability. The study says that leadership is quantified by 16 central personality traits
- men are judged to be better than women on 12 of the traits (10 showed a statistical significance).
- men better leaders
- Men are judged in employee evaluations to be more positively perceived at:
- Executive Management (Men 57, Women 52)
- Senior Managers (Men 56, Women 50)
- Middle Managers (55 Men, 51 Women).
- US Census Burea says 17 million men and 12 million women live in poverty in the United States, which is the highest level since 1993.
- Rothstein Kass finance shows that male hedge fund managers outperform female competition.
- 48% of all men experience psychological aggression in their lifetime
- 37% of families led by single fathers nationwide live in poverty.
- only 6.8% of married parent families do (2009 Heritage Foundation Study)
Clearly, men make better leaders, are smarter, and are generally more valuable and have more to offer than women in the workplace. Most of you shouldn't be surprised... Americans just "know" these facts to be true: males as a group are supreme to the weaker, more fragile feminine sex.
April Foolsssss :)
They are exactly opposite of what the data from many studies are finding when comparing the average man to the average woman.
How can a congress of 82% rich white men know anything about making laws that govern the contraceptive and maternity rights of 51% of the population? It can't.
Although feminism is geared to helping girls and women reach the equality that males are privileged with from birth, feminism at its core promotes equality of all people regardless of gender, sex, race, or class. The movement is about not about being better than men, its about women being valued by the world as more than a "slam-piece;" more valuable than the sum of her curves. Women are human, too.
I hate to have tricked you reader, but with all the "Men's Rights Movement" propaganda floating around, I wanted to make sure you realize that we all still need feminism. I am so about helping men-central issues like the high suicide rate of teen boys, the male problem of homelessness, and the constant societal pressure to be an alpha male. Such a shame that legitimate concerns like the above (and many more) are being ignored to solely bring down the feminist movement.
Thursday, March 20, 2014
This is why I really have no sympathy for people who commit suicide.
Before you just assume I have no soul, at least hear me out.
|Never forget how very special you are|
Are you depressed?
There is nothing wrong with needing medical treatment; you wouldn't feel ashamed to go get insulin for your diabetes, would you? Depression is simply a chemical imbalance in your brain, treatable with medication and time.
Still feel worthless?
Kindly stop taking up space and make room for those of us who actually want to be here.
If you are not starving to death, have a roof over your head, and are not living in constant fear for your life-- you are doing better than a lot of people in this world. How selfish can you really be?
I cheated death Saturday night.
Because I am a little darling and like to stand up for those who won't do it themselves, I am here today.
Over spring break, myself and Tommy and another couple spent the weekend in Corpus Christi. Saturday night after going out, the other man-who was raised in Corpus- wanted to show us the Lexington battleship, which they light up at night and is apparently super cool.
On the way there, the other woman wanted to stop and take a picture with the Selena memorial tribute for her mother, a huge Selena fan. Apparently she has been trying to stop for months to take this picture, but the guy is kind of an actual jerk and never would stop... it was always "next time" or "someday." It was always an excuse.
|It won't be easy, but it'll be worth it!|
I mean? C'mon! We were just going to go sit in the hotel anyways? What else can you possibly do at 2 in the morning with out getting arrested?
So he grudgingly pulls over, she snaps a picture or two, and the entire ordeal takes maybe two minutes... but those two minutes probably saved our lives.
We continued toward the Lexington and came around a curve.... where a major car wreck had just happened. There were bodies that had been pulled out of the crumpled vehicles laying in the grass. The crash had happened so soon before we had arrived to that certain spot on the way to the Lexington that the ambulance was not even there yet.
I am lucky to be alive. We all are.
Its funny what a near-death experience does to a person...I have never felt more full of purpose or hopeful about my future or more driven to make a change in this world. I am important. I am worthy of love and success and respect and safety and any other good thing that exists on this Earth... just like you are.
|Do not waste a MOMENT|
So if you are having a bad day, make a bad grade, over-sleep for work... just remember all the little things that had to have happened for you to be able to have a bad day.
Take a breathe. Count to 10. Know that I am here if you ever, ever need me.
What will you accomplish when you start living?
"Be thankful for this moment, for this moment is your life"
Love you all!