On Killing Women and Saving Babies

I'm writing this in response to a request from a young lady who asked me my opinion on abortions; she said I need to shout this from the rooftops, but I guess Blogger will have to do. People get radical about the right to live vs the right to choose.  I understand why abortion is a heated topic: because of lack of knowledge. I want you to read this with a open mind. Be pro-life or be pro-choice, but please just read my arguments on why it is of the upmost importance abortions remain legal. As Texans, we most stand up for our rights to make the choices that will define our lives, as men and as women, and this persecution coming from old men in suits sitting behind desks in our government must be stopped.

First I just want to say, if you feel abortions are morally wrong, then do not get an abortion. I personally do not think I would get one, but I also have never been faced with an unwanted pregnancy. I do not have the authority to say who can or cannot go have an abortion. Neither do you, for that matter.

I think that a country of unwanted children is a hellava lot scarier than a country that allows easy access to cost-efficient abortions. Rising out of poverty is almost impossible- especially for women. Huffington Post says a full 4.1 million single-mother families are living in poverty. A full 40% of families headed by single mothers are below the poverty line, and child support is a joke. As in, it still costs about the same to raise a kid whether the kid is one-parented or two-parented. Considering the average payment wouldn't even cover daycare, we really need to make dead-beat dads step up to the plate.

Comparison of estimated expenditures* on children by single-parent
and husband-wife families, overall United States, 2004
Age of child     Single-parent              Husband-wife
                          households                 households
0 - 2                     $5,860                         $7,040
3 - 5                     $6,640                         $7,210
6 - 8                     $7,460                         $7,250
9 - 11                   $6,930                         $7,220
12 - 14                 $7,420                         $8,070
15 - 17                 $8,180                         $8,000
Total                    $127,470                     $134,370
*Estimates are for the younger child in two-child families with 2004 before-tax income less than $41,700.

Check out this Expenditures on Children report from 2004 if you wanna look or see more for yourself. That was a decade ago, so imagine what a decade's worth of inflation has done to the numbers.

And what about the child? Have you seen what student loans are running these days? Adoption is a beautiful gift of a mother to parents that are unable to conceive, but please remember that not all children are adopted. Children growing up in foster care systems are shown as social deviants on TV. The actual foster kids are known to suffer from abuses ranging from physical to verbal to sexual. Is a child better off being molested for years than never knowing of its conscience? I'm not sure.

What about the foster kids that don't get abused... just put out on the streets to fend for themselves at 18? I am 22 and my parents still pay for everything. I'm sure I couldn't do it. I just signed a petition on change.com for a foster kid that wanted her northern college to not kick her out of the dorms between breaks: she would be living under a bridge in the snow for Christmas; she didn't have a stable home to go back to on breaks.

You would think that with all this Christianly love in the pro-life crowd, some of that go-get-em attitude about stopping abortion would have people putting their money where their bull-horned mouth is. But hey, if the kid goes to bed hungry every night its okay! The kid is alive, right?

But are they okay?

There are certain humans who will never, ever, in a billion years ever face an unwanted pregnancy. They perform the "fathering" job. These same certain humans are the one's making the laws that control the reproductive freedom of women. Its sickening. There has been a trend through time that the more powerful women get, the more eager weak men get to "put them back into their place." The easiest way to do this? By controlling when and if women become moms. The rate of abortions per 1000 women aged 15-44 has dropped, both nationwide and in Texas, by nearly 10 abortions each. You wouldn't know it judging from the bills being passed: more laws restricting abortions have been passed in the last 2 years than the previous 10 years combined. Funny considering our government literally was shut down for part of this year... priorities, people, priorities.

Most of these men running our government (Average age of the Senate is 62, House of Representatives is 57) were born during a time before birth control was legally available. It was not until 1965 that married people were even allowed to get birth control, and 1972 marked the year single people were allowed to purchase it legally. A doctor in Connecticut was convicted of helping married couples get birth control; the case went all the way to the Supreme Court before he was released from jail. Can you imagine how being raised in a time where mom vacuumed in pearls before serving dad his martini and a pot roast could influence progressive thinking? How can men raised in the 1950s be capable of thinking about women's rights fairly? They cannot.

So you think abortions are wrong: I want to be a mom someday, I get it... dead babies are terrible! But let me ask you to follow the logically argument to abortions regarding bodily autonomy. I am an organ donor. That means that when I die, my organs will be used to save the lives of those injured or the sick that are in need of my heart/lungs/kidneys because of some disease. No one has the right to steal my organs or to use them without my consent. By signing a paper that puts a little heart on my driver's license, I am consenting. Imagine now that I was not an organ donor and then was in some terrible car crash and I died. I am young. I'm relatively healthy so my organs would be in high demand; I would probably save the lives of quite a few people. It would not matter what two year old little girl or elderly grandfather around that hospital was in need of my organs- even to save their life- because I have the right to bodily autonomy. My organs cannot be used without my permission, for any reason, no matter how noble the cause.

How then is the right to choose to carry a baby to term any different?  Do embryos not need a living human womb to grow? Maybe I do not want a child to use my organ (my womb/uterus) because I have a right to bodily autonomy. My possession of a vagina, uterus, and fallopian tubes is not my consent to become pregnant. Having sexual intercourse is not my consent to become pregnant. Nothing but my willingness to produce this hypothetical child could be considered consent to lease out the use of my organs, my energy, and the food necessary for growing a fetus that would die, otherwise. To say that a woman does not have the right to choose to keep, give up for adoption, or abort her own baby is to give a corpse more rights than every woman on this Earth.

I am coming at this from a practical point of view. Because all religions are a belief system that means that some people believe and some people do not believe. Otherwise, such belief would be "fact" and would not require "faith." Believe what ever you want, or believe nothing at all. Believe in Jesus. Believe in Allah. Believe in Zeus and Buddah and Osiris. Believe in little flying purple space people, if you want. Believe in nothing at all. But do not use a belief to negatively impact the availability of life changing medical procedures- life saving medical procedures- for people that choose to think differently than you.

I was raised Catholic, and I was taught in Mass and CCD classes all of my childhood that birth control is sinful. Even happily married couples that have finished with growing their little family is forbidden to use contraception by the Catholic church. Going along those teachings, I used to be the most pro-life person you could ever meet. I volunteered at the Coalition for Life in College Station. I tried to be a full-time counselor, but it didn't work out with my school schedule. I truly felt that if you are grown-up enough to have sex, you are grown-up enough to take responsibility for everything that goes with that- including a pregnancy or sexually transmitted disease.

And then I saw this billboard in class: A woman in the 1970's was on her hands and knees, and the picture frame was shot from above her head, aimed towards her feet. Her butt was in the air- naked- and her face was lying in a puddle of her own blood.... her "lover" had failed at a coat hanger abortion.  When he pushed too far into her body, the sharp point had perforated her uterus:
She bleed out. He simply left.

The fact that even one young woman died in this senselessly violent tragedy has forever changed my opinion on the necessity of easy access to abortion. Please do not think I am running up and down streets skipping about all the dead babies that will never grace this earth- I am NOT. But I am insisting that the current state of affairs in Texas needs to be talked about. You should really check out How Republicans Won the Fight over Abortion in Texas. Its terrifying.

• Did you know that by September 1, 2014, there will be six places serving 26,448,193 Texans. 
• Did you know that 1 in 3 women will obtain an abortion before the age of 45? 
• The last two clinics- Beaumont and McAllen- in rural areas have closed. The next provider closest to McAllen is over 200 miles away.

To put that in perspective, there are ten McDonald's in Bryan/College Station. House Bill 2 in Texas, passed summer 2013, is one of the most restrictive attacks on the availability of abortions in the country. I was actually in Austin with Jeannette and saw a protest in the streets of Austin against it; Sen. Wendy Davis stood for 11 hours to filibuster the law. Then Governor Perry passed it, anyways, despite the filibuster. Guttemacher Institute  research website says:

• In Texas, 533,500 of the 5,404,124 women of reproductive age became pregnant in 2011. 71% of these pregnancies resulted in live births and 14% in induced abortions. 

Clearly, abortion is not an uncommon thing. The H.B.2 law lines out these restrictions starting on April 1, 2014 as follows:

• A woman must receive state-directed counseling that includes information designed to discourage her from having an abortion and then wait 24 hours before the procedure is provided. 

Idk about you ladies, but information designed to discourage me, then giving me a day to think about my abortion doesn't seem very woman-friendly- especially after I had just barely made up my mind that a child isn't the best choice for me right now.

• The parent of a minor must consent and be notified before an abortion is provided. 

So, a female teenager might be kicked out of their home by their parents and entire life ruined because of this parental consent clause. It happens. And if children in kindergarten are "having sex" in the bathrooms at schools in New Jersey, I would bet my bottom dollar teens are doing the same in Texas.

• Public funding is available for abortion only in cases of life endangerment, rape or incest. 

So now poor women, who can't afford abortions to begin with, are now faced with what? A coat hanger? Stairs? Pills? A swift punch to the stomach? What about a bleach martini? If they can't afford an abortion, the mother probably can't afford a child either.

• A woman must undergo an ultrasound before obtaining an abortion; the provider must show and describe the image to the woman. If the woman lives within 100 miles of an abortion provider she must obtain the ultrasound at least 24 hours before the abortion. 

The six abortion clinics will be located in Austin, Houston, Dallas, Fort Worth, and San Antonio. Kind of hard for a poor woman to come up with the $500 or so to obtain an abortion, find a ride to the clinic, then find a place to stay for the 24 hour wait period required by law. Planned parenthood is actually building a $5 million facility in San Antonio to comply with these new "regulations," so those poorer women can afford the health care. I wonder how far five million dollars would go for providing mammograms or birth-control.

I hope you agree, or can at least understand, why shutting down all but 6 clinics is a big problem; whats going on? The Texas legislature is saying they want to "protect women," which I'm all for, of course. When he signed the bill into law, despite Sen. Wendy Davis's filibuster, Gov. Perry said,

"This is an important day for those who support life and for those who support the health of Texas women."

Except he is wrong? The chance of dying from an abortion is 1/10 of the chance of dying from giving birth. There is no "save the women" campaign happening...Maybe controlling the women. Looks like it just might be working.

Think about it.
Brooke

Flying Pigs and Eating Crows

Its pretty difficult for most people to admit that they were misinformed, misguided, or just plain wrong.... myself included! Consider this me eating crow about how I was completely wrong about feminism, and that the world is-right now- just as it should be. And yes... that was a pig flying by your apartment window ;)

WOW! How could I be so wrong about a gender balance that favors men? Women can be anything they want to be. With the right motivation and education can't we all?

Facts:

• Since 1964, male voters outnumbered female voters in every presidential election.
• BJ Gallagher (author of "The World's Best Advice from the World's Wisest Man) says men make great bosses because they are 
• better coachers 
• better mentors
• better problem solvers
• Men hold 98 of 535 (18%) seats in the 113th Congress
• 79 House Representative are male 
• 20 Senators (plus 3 delegates) are men 
• Of the 100 largest American Cities, 12 have male mayors.
• Men have better aim throwing a baseball at all ages.
• 2012 elections saw 5 male state governors elected.
• multitasking test had 50 men and 50 women do four tasks in 8 minutes: results show men better able to reflect on problems while also doing others tasks 
• men are better at multitasking
• James Flynn is a researcher that found the IQs of men in the US, Europe, Canada are higher than women's
• men are smarter
• Bureau of Labor Statistics says that since the Recession hit in 2007, 80% of the workers who lost their jobs were women.
• men are recession proof
• Harvard Business Review recently published a study on male to female leadership ability. The study says that leadership is quantified by 16 central personality traits
•  men are judged to be better than women on 12 of the traits (10 showed a statistical significance). 
• men better leaders
• Men are judged in employee evaluations to be more positively perceived at:
• Executive Management (Men 57, Women 52) 
• Senior Managers (Men 56, Women 50) 
• Middle Managers (55 Men, 51 Women).
• US Census Burea says 17 million men and 12 million women live in poverty in the United States, which is the highest level since 1993.
• Rothstein Kass finance shows that male hedge fund managers outperform female competition.
• 48% of all men experience psychological aggression in their lifetime
• 37% of families led by single fathers nationwide live in poverty.
• only 6.8% of married parent families do (2009 Heritage Foundation Study)

Clearly, men make better leaders, are smarter, and are generally more valuable and have more to offer than women in the workplace. Most of you shouldn't be surprised... Americans just "know" these facts to be true: males as a group are supreme to the weaker, more fragile feminine sex.

April Foolsssss :)

All the above "truths?" Just replace every man/male/masculine word from the above quotes with woman/female/feminine to switch the statement. Every single fact originally was written to be the exact opposite...for example "37% of families led by single mothers nationwide live in poverty" is the true information.

They are exactly opposite of what the data from many studies are finding when comparing the average man to the average woman.

As in- studies are showing that women in general have more leadership skills, higher IQs, vote more,  are rated higher in employee evaluations, and are more educated as a group than male peers.

Surprised yet?

How can a congress of 82% rich white men know anything about making laws that govern the contraceptive and maternity rights of 51% of the population? It can't.

Although feminism is geared to helping girls and women reach the equality that males are privileged with from birth, feminism at its core promotes equality of all people regardless of gender, sex, race, or class. The movement is about not about being better than men, its about women being valued by the world as more than a "slam-piece;" more valuable than the sum of her curves. Women are human, too.

I hate to have tricked you reader, but with all the "Men's Rights Movement" propaganda floating around, I wanted to make sure you realize that we all still need feminism. I am so about helping men-central issues like the high suicide rate of teen boys, the male problem of homelessness, and the constant societal pressure to be an alpha male. Such a shame that legitimate concerns like the above (and many more) are being ignored to solely bring down the feminist movement.

Make tomorrow better,
Brooke

Stop Teaching Us "Happily Ever After"

This is my scholarly paper for a young adult literature class that required an essay on fairy tales. Pretty long, but pretty interesting if you care to read it. (I made a 95 on it if you happen to doubt my intelligence on the subject)

Crying Wolf:

Fairy Tale’s Promotion of Rape Culture

           

If a two year old were asked what she wants to be when she grows up, the answer would likely be a shrieked, “ prin-thess!” Toddler’s rudimentary grasp on the English language does not deter parents from teaching their little darlings about gendered behavior, even using enforcers such as cartoons, clothing, and popular media. The “happily ever after’s” of fairy tales, however, are the sugar coated ideas that dictate societal expectations of the alpha males and submissive females. Francesca Lia Block’s short story, Wolf, is a feminist-inspired reworking of the traditionally geared, androgynous fairy tale, “Little Red Riding Hood.“ Wolf is meant to celebrate women, their strengths, and the love of community that defines them. Although girls are taught by The Grimm Brother’s “Little Red Cap” that safety is gained through male protection, Block’s first person narrative Wolf’s portrayal of a teenage rape survivor’s story rejects female trivialization as portrayed in fairy talks, and by putting the reader into the victim’s shoes, Block argues thematically against victim blaming and other myths surrounding American Rape Culture’s ideology.

The Grimm’s story, “Little Red Cap” features a hunter that saves the lives of Red and Grandmother from being lost in the wolf’s belly. (Grimm, 30). Folk and Fairy Tale’s Little Red section claims that the Grimm’s version to be the “ most balanced” to contemporary audiences because of the parallel structuring of good men versus bad men (Hallett & Karasek, 23). The lesson being taught of man-as-protector is dangerous. Father-like figures are absent from most fairy tales, and when present, fathers are linked to daughter-directed incest more frequently than not. Block’s writing rejects the idea of the paternalistic good guy by placing her Wolf in the domestic realm: the protagonist’s emotionally and physically abusive step-father whom she cannot escape.

The story’s title, Wolf, carries a clever double meaning that established Block’s tone from the first word. Firstly, the title refers to the story’s heritage stemming from traditional Red Riding Hood and the Wolf stories. The more sinister, secondary usage is in reference to the disturbing trend of sexual assault victims being accused of faking an attack, or “crying wolf.” The title is an allusion to Aesop’s Fable, “The Boy Who Cried Wolf.” The first words in the story are two sentences from Red saying, “They don’t believe me. They think I’m crazy,” confirming the intended double meaning (Block, 40).

Even more troubling, friends of attackers frequently harass victims of rape and assault, both verbally and away through social media or text messaging. The victim is pressured to admit that the act was consensual, and she originally was just upset. Women particularly find it easier to assume the victim is making up the incident than to admit that such a heinous attack could happen to a woman they are acquainted with. Daily Mail’s article about victim blaming reports that “of 1000 adults surveyed, fifty four percent agree with the statement ‘rape victims should be held accountable for their attacks”’ (Camber, Web).

Researchers and psychologists agree that rape is about power, rather than about sex. Before the physical violence of an attack can occur between two groups of people that are separated by race, sex, religion or other area’s of exclusive group membership, there has to be a complete separation in the perception of the aggressor that ranks his or her group’s worth much higher than the value of the secondary group’s worth. To illustrate, consider the kidnapping and enslavement of African tribesmen that resulted in later slave trading on plantations around the world; slavery could not morally have been as widespread if the tribal Africans were seen as equals to people of European decent. By viewing a specific human characteristic that varies between the two groups, here the skin tones and cultural differences between white people and black people, the group that feels they are worth more on the scale of human value feels justified in any persecution or violence that occurs between them, especially acts which benefit the dominant group. Southern plantation owner’s excuse for owning slaves used to be “because people from Africa are not as fully human as white Americans,” so using slaves like you would use a cow or oxen for labor purposes was “justified” in their own minds.

Similarly, Westernized countries value aggression and passion in men, and demand passivity and obedience in women. Popular culture components including fashion trends, media, and advertisements- among others- all serve to systematically dehumanize women by reducing the value of a woman to a purely sexual existence. Because a woman is now less than human, merely an object to be used for sexual exploitation, harassment in the form of sexual violence is “justified” to certain types of men. Traditional fairy tales that depict women as hopelessly incapable or passively wasting time until the arrival of the prince characterize women as less valuable than men, yet again. The message that women “need” men is internalized by both boys and girls, beginning on the laps of their parents during story-time: little girls hear stories of beautiful princesses waiting for rescue, and little boys hear stories of the beautiful princess he earns by scaling the tower or slaying the dragon.

 The only types of women present in fairy tale literature are the very good or the very bad, and either category’s mother. There is, of course, the beautiful young girl that embodies all male expectations of feminine virtue and who will be rewarded for playing the game, as she was expected, with a handsome prince. The undesirable women are banished to the realms of the ugly step-sisters, the jealous step-mothers, and the evil old witches. The fairy tale characters serve as warnings to girls, with their ugly names and the missing happily ever after’s, to either play the game or suffer the consequences.

Block challenges the female-as-villain casting that is so prevalent in children’s stories, including in young adult literature. The male characters of fairy tales assume the role of the hero: the Grimm Brother’s hunter that saves Little Red from the wolf’s belly, the stereotypical Prince Charming character, and the father who is absent for unknown reasons, but sometimes portrayed as away on business providing for his family. Block challenges the convention of men as female protectors by making the villain of Wolf into Red’s step-father, a rapist turned murderer.

Instead of the backstabbing and plotting that are trademarks in most fairy tale stories, Block chooses to show love instead of the usual hatred aimed toward women, by women. Traditional Little Red Riding Hood stories are missing the attention, either overly positive or overly negative, between the family members. In Wolf, Block’s addition of loving, intergenerational relationships adds texture to the characters and believability to the story. Red loves her mother so much that she claims her mother is her best friend, one so great that “I didn’t really even need any other friend” (Block, 40). Red also lets us know that the reason she cannot simply flee from her abusive situation is because she is scared to abandon her mother.

To conclude, kids are growing up being taught unattainable standards of perfection that will never be reached. A son that tap-dances and a daughter that welds both deserve the love of their family, the respect of their peers, and the right to feel safe in this world. By ending the brainwashing of whatever “normal” is, and teaching kids about respect and kindness, perhaps the days of victim blaming will end; its hard to have a victim with out any perpetrators.

Works Cited:

1.     Block, Francesca Lia. “Wolf.” The Rose and the Beast. New York: Harper Collins, 2000.

2.     Camber, Rebecca. “Rape? It’s the fault of the victims, say 50 % of women.” Daily Mail Online.  Associated Newspapers, LTD. 15 Feb 2010. Web. 16 Feb 2014.

3.     Marshall, Elizabeth. “Girlhood, Sexual Violence, and Agency in Francesca Lia Block’s ‘Wolf.’” Children’s Literature in Education. Springer Science+Business Media, LLC. 18 Feb 2009. Web. 18 Feb 2014.

WORDS words WORDS: Bossy Brooke no More

There is this idea I encounter quite frequently whenever I dare to correct someone who has called me "chick" or "sugar" or "babe" that I do indeed have a name that is not an animal, baking commodity, nor child, that efforts toward gender equality is "finished" and "is not necessary any longer." That there is no "white, rich, old man conspiracy group" that does nothing beyond "sitting around smoking cigars and plotting oppression tactics."

This is true. There is no systematic devaluation of the female person by an institution such as... oh idk..... PRINT & DIGITAL & CINEMATIC MEDIA. 
or..... RELIGION.
or..... SCHOOLS.
or..... RAPE CULTURE.

Yes, women in 2014 are now "allowed" to request a divorce, vote, wear jeans, go to college, work outside of the home.... but by NO means is the necessity of women's rights activists eliminated. Its been 40 years since the second wave of the Feminist Revolution, 40 years since equal opportunities for both sexes were demanded-by law- to be provided in educational settings that receive federal funding.... and yet there are, according to 2013 datas:

So true!

• 23 Fortune 500 female CEOs
• FIVE (of 50) female state governors
• the 113th congress has TWENTY female senators (of 100) and 99 of (535) female house members... don't get excited thats 18%.
• Nancy Pelosi is the first EVER female Speaker of the House
• what about newspaper editors? movie directors? school board members? 

The list goes on and on because this is an epidemic.

Yes, simultaneously there is SLOW progress: the fact that Hillary Clinton (a woman in general, not JUST her) may very well be the next president is SUCH greatness and speaks to how we have grown in our thinking.... Except that we call her Hillary. And we judge her hair. And she's "getting older." How disrespectful! No one goes around (perhaps a little bit...but not like this) saying Barak or Paul. Because we respect them. Because we are comfortable with male leadership.

But to say these numbers are acceptable? That we have reached "equality"? That feminism is offensive to men because women are "taking over" and being "helped too much now"? That women do not want to be associated with being a "feminist" because they aren't hairy legged butch lesbians that want to kill all men and store a few under ground for reproduction purposes.... Am I those things? No. I do not want to take over the world. But I AM demanding a better world for my daughters AND sons, and I would like your eyes to be open to the situation.

Yes some women want to be stay at home mothers, and yes some have education degrees, and yes some simply do not WANT to be a person in power because of the stress/time/effort/ect. This is perfectly okay, and I am happy they are living their idea of happy..... But the numbers are not made sensical by such trivial explanations.

Women are 51% of the population, and half of all degrees have gone to women over the last 30 years.... some, of course, are teachers and other professions who are not "qualified" educationally wise to be in power..... but shouldn't logic tell you that the other factors contributing to the male power majority such as the "stay at home moms" and the "ladies who lunch" who simply do not work be statistically balanced by the large group of men who are janitors? Or construction workers? Or ranchers? 18% of house members being female isn't acceptable. Its not representative of the population dynamics nor the values that 51% of the population is affected by more so than the 49%.

I am sure you have heard about Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg's new initiative, in unison with the Girl Scouts, to ban the word bossy from the vocabulary of parents and teachers. The idea is that girls in classrooms are enthusiastically answering questions and being "classroom helper", then being told to stop being so bossy and loud and to let others take a turn. The little girls are embarrassed; no longer will they find the joy in learning as before, and the will to lead is, if not STOLEN, then greatly diminished. Yes, there are some certain girls who can brush the idea of being too assertive off and move on. But what about the ones that cannot? Who give up right there? Who maybe don't have the parents at home to say "you CAN do anything a boy can do" or "don't let those kids bring you down!"?

Too bad so sad?

How can we move forward if 51% of us are not?

Women will LIE about how much they make on dates in order to not be too "dominating" to men and in order to preserve their tender, fragile masculinity.... why is this even a thought? Why are women not shouting from the rooftops about their accomplishments that yes they EARNED that raise working 60 hours a week? Why not telling the dinner party that they KICKED ASS and earned a big client contract? Some do. But a lot of women constantly undermine accomplishments to partners, friends, and families by phrases like

"oh, well, you know.... I just was lucky and the timing worked out....."

"well, yeah, i mean..... there were not many applicants, so I didn't have much competition...." 

Do you think men do that? No. Because men are "supposed to be" in those positions (as evidenced by history, so its what we culturally expect) and they are taught from the start of their lives that alpha male powerful is what you want in order to support a family, and to also not be the wimpy kid that gets beat up.

I have also heard that men do what they do to impress women: win wars, be a wall street guy, whatever "it" is, the act is used to earn sexual advantages over less capable competition; those cannot be advantageous if you did not "earn" the accomplishment... "right place right time" isn't very sexy. If you didn't brag to the world, how would the ladies know?  But I cannot say if that is absolute fact.

Sandberg's idea is this early negative experience with exhibiting leadership skills is what drives these women in the future to not seek out managerial positions: "I don't want to be the bitch." Her hypothesis is that this is why more women are not upper management positions: 13 years of tongue biting to "play nice" with the other kids and not step on any toes does not build the life skills necessary to BE a good leader. The kind of skills like being comfortable giving directions (not orders) instead of asking "hey when you get a moment can you please do ______."

Both physically and mentally, boys mature later than girls. Should the faster progressing girls (and boys, if they are) be oppressed to make room for the lagging behind boys and slower girls? Wouldn't our country benefit socially, economically et. if the best of the best gets treated like it instead of being handicapped? If said late bloomers aren't on the same "level," I feel that those kids should be held back a year to progress themselves.

Arguments AGAINST the #banbossy campaign say that both genders are called it, its not that relevant, and there are bigger things to worry about that hurting a 7 year old child's feelings. Forbes's contributor Michelin Maynard (a woman) wrote an article on the matter saying

"We don't have to ban words to make young girls feel better. Instead, teach them to believe in possibilities, no matter what anyone says about them, and keep finding ways to move forward."

Considering that Title 9 of the Education Amendments of 1972 says

"No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving federal finical assistance."

I beg to differ. It is not about "feeling better" its about facilitating an environment where ideas and life skills and learning thrives; the people that work the hardest and are the brightest get rewarded, not punished. A world where school dress codes DON'T teach girls that wearing shorts, even of appropriate length, are wrongfully stimulating to those poor dear boys. It is funny that "bermuda shorts" are acceptable which are very comparable to male cargo or basketball length shorts. So THAT is ok, but girls you should know that your bodies are disgraceful and not acceptable for public arenas, and it is your responsibility to fight off the middle school pubescent advances of boys; boys, don't worry, we will shield your little eyes.

What does it mean to be equal? In my very clearly subjective opinion, equality of the sexes would be a world where gendered ideology beyond the biologically based reproductive systems (like maternity and paternity leave, the right to not be fired for being pregnant ect.) is eliminated.

An actual ad for a butcher shop. Looks like you matter a lot ladies

Linguistics is a cultural snapshot that serves to reflect the thinking in a moment in time. For example, before the civil rights movement, "nigger" was an acceptable name for a black person; today, that is a word most people would never, ever use in a derogatory sense. When we speak, the words we say are evidence of our own thinking patterns, and are also shading the connotations that other people around you hear and then link to the associated groups in question, both positively and negatively.

Sexism is another construct validated and affirmed through word choice; how men and boys speak and see others speak influences their ideology. For instance, in a perfect world, little boys who enjoy painting are not called sissies as an insult. It is a negative thing to be a sissy but a positive thing for the girl that loves kickball and climbing trees to be a tom-boy because of the value we culturally place on male traits compared to female traits. To be more male-like is valued, to be more female-like is embarrassing.

What about being told to "man up," to "grow a pair," or that someone who IS what a real man should be, perhaps man enough to walk away from a fight "doesn't have any balls." Are these attributes intrinsically positive? NO. To imply that the male sexual organ is a metaphor for success isn't acceptable. It would be different if there was a similar, positive vibe surrounding lady parts; but nah, not needed.

 The female sexual organs gets all the negative connotations that phrases like "stop being a pussy" and "What? Are you on your period today?" bring to mind in situations of failure; "Need a tampon" is yet another linked to actions that are something that YOU as a man are above and better than I as a woman. The "most" offensive word in the entire english language is cunt..... a word meaning vagina. This is not oh men and women are different, or the "separate but equal" idea by any means, its the idea that male is something to embrace and flaunt because its better than female.

Interesting point on that: considering that the male organs are external, thus extremely prone to injury (true story. I've seen many a male doubled over in pain due to a testes tap), and the female organs are internal and capable of oh ya know.... growing a human being from fluids and then bringing new life into the world, you would think the anything related to "balls" and "big dicks" would be extremely weak. But its not. Because "any old animal can pop out a kid."

Because we value masculinity, as a society, at the expense of femininity.

Its a rape hotline ad.... for BIG MACS.

What about the VERY common usage of "raping" as a synonym for "winning:" "I just raped that test;" football coaches saying how we're gonna "rape that team;" the very most disgusting, dehumanizing act of forcefully stealing a woman's (and very very rarely a man's) dignity and killing a piece of who they were, forever tainting their view that maybe the world is a good place, an act that HAPPENS EVERY SINGLE DAY ....is glorified. An act that is RARELY served jail time for (15 out of 16 will not says Rape Abuse, and Incest National Network),  that is thought of as "not really a thing anymore," an act that is just a risk of happening to be female. Rape also happens to simply go away with money or power  because all you have to say is "she was drunk and she consented and she changed her mind." ... This CRIME means winning and being the victor in our culture.

We don't teach "hey boys! don't rape it's wrong!" we teach "hey girls! you are weak and a victim so don't walk alone, don't drink too much, don't let a guy pick you up for a date cause then he will know where you live, don't run at night time because you are a walking target."  Yes, it is my responsibility to be smart, but it is NOT my responsibility to guard my every move such as hiring a corp escort to walk me across campus after studying late. Men and boys are responsible.

A Brown School of Medicine 2010 study found that 91%.... NINETY ONE PERCENT....of all rapes are committed by undetected repeat offenders. Maybe that has something to do with the CBS investigation in 2009  that found in TEXAS... where we live people.... there is 10,000 untested rape kits in Dallas, 3,000 in Houston, and another 5,000 untested kits in San Antonio. Google it. I promise. EIGHTEEN THOUSAND women, in Texas, in Cities we have both likely been to.... these 18,000 just simply do not matter enough to get justice for.... Are you disgusted yet? It is estimated that of every 100 rapes, only 40 get reported. Do the math.

This is deeply engrained, culturally acceptable promotion of the inferiority of women. Question it. Demand answers. And change the world for the better for both MEN AND WOMEN. who possess their different strengths and weaknesses. Where the problem arises is when the differences are not valued; that is the definition of 3rd wave feminism.

So tell me again how we're "all equal."
That America is land of the free, home of brave; a land of equal opportunity.
That you "aren't a feminist."
That you "don't see a reason for it"

Think of the 5% of CEOs and the 18% of house members and the 20% of senators and the five total female governors.

Then think of those 18,000 women and the 18,000 rapes and the 18,000 men (maybe less...repeat offenders remember.) who will never do a second of time for their brutal, life-changingly traumatic, soul crushing hate crime against women IN TEXAS.

And then tell me you aren't a feminist.

Brooke

Mind Your Own Business

What society says is "right"

I remember how 7th grade girl's athletics would be the next period after lunch. Have you ever ran "horses" right after devouring chili cheese fries? Basketball practice with Coach Oliver was NOT going to be pleasant post-lunch... so we 13 years old "athletes" did what any person would do: we just didn't eat. I will never forget the locker room talk that came from parental concerns about our protruding ribs and knobby knees: Momma Shaw telling us this is unacceptable, and that to be healthy, you must eat. 

Its funny how exercising for a 50 min class period, then 2 hour volleyball practice, followed by a 2 hour cheerleading practice every day can whittle a person down. Its funny how hours spent at basketball tournaments and track invitationals can deplete fat stores into nearly nothing. 

Although I'm much more comfortable these days at 22, I can still hear the voices of my classmates' accusations, "You're anorexic aren't you?? I KNOW you are!" I can still hear my parent's worry as they ask if something is the matter, if I need help, that they're concerned. I can still recall the exact moment, where I was, and what I was wearing when my high school boyfriend told me that his friends had asked him how he can even hug me without breaking me.

I can still feel the shame of being "skinny."

Love yourself! Everyone else can Kick Rocks Eat Glass.

Turns out, I'm not alone in this. "Skinny-Shaming"-- the practice of embarrassing or degrading a person for their body being subjectively "below average"-- is exactly what I was, and still am put through. This is not a "poor me, people are so mean!" post: no one should feel embarrassed about their body, and all the "real men don't want bones" and the "real women have curves" billboards send the message that I am both unwanted, and also not a woman. So apparently I'm an alien? A child? A sea monster? Its another way that I have been judged inadequate by those around me. 

How dare the number on the scale be used to define who I am. Why would it EVER be appropriate to make snippy comments about how much I, or anyone else, weighs? When I think about all the forced down food, day in and day out, that I painfully stuffed myself with; all the unwanted swallows that proved to others that - no- in fact, I am "normal," ..... 

Well now I'm just angry.

Family members, classmates, strangers on the streets... think first of how your words affect another person. If I had reversed their comments of 

YOU are more than your body

1. "WOW you skinny bitch! How about some junk food!" 
2. "Do you ever eat??" 
3. "Here, let me make you a sandwich, you're the one that needs it..." 

 into something like 

1. "WOW fat-ass how about breathing, too?" 
2. "Do you ever stop eating??" 
3. "Let me take that food off your hands, you clearly don't need it..."

can you see how hurtful this can be? 

I am PROUD to be who I am. I understand that there is a societal "thin privilege,"and I am sorry for those who, because of disease or disability, are overweight. But pardon my lack of sympathy for the men and women who think their body is anyone's fault but their own. If you do not like your own body, do not take it out on me. Instead of belittling the women who park far away from the store entrance, who take the stairs, who skip dessert every now and then-- how about go exercise? How about go improve your SELF before you get the "privilege" to judge others. Better yet, how about you keep your unsolicited opinions to yourself. 

My biggest pet peeve in the entire world is hearing "GOSHHH IM SO FATTTTT" right after watching someone devour 4 pizza slices to go with their large Dr. Pepper. Do you remember the last time you went to the gym? How about the last time you stopped eating before you went into a semi-food coma? According to the CDC, 1/3 of American adults are obese; considering the number one cause of death (heart disease) is related to obesity, the fact seems significant. 

We need to change how we view both our own and other's bodies by their ratio of muscle to fat to blood to bone, into judging by what a body and a mind can accomplish. If all you do is watch netflix and eat chips, I really don't feel bad for you if you're packing a few pounds. Likewise, if you eat healthily and make lifestyle choices encouraging your longevity and ability to perform life skills-- keep it up! Go run that marathon girl! But don't let the words of others define you.

In the words of Mr. Glenn Marla, "There is no wrong way to have a body." Worry about your health first, your ideas second, and your physical "size" last. 

XOXO,

Brooke

Using the F-word in Public

And no, not the one you're thinking.
Please hear me out before you just dismiss this as another femi-nazi rant.

If you know me, you've probably heard me say something about being a woman, being taken seriously, and being treated with the respect that men are granted freely. I believe in equality: I am not better nor worse than a man, but with different strengths AND weaknesses. To claim that I am a FEMINIST-- however-- makes people uncomfortable. If a misogynist means someone who hates women, then would a feminist be someone who LOVES women?

I don't understand why this is something negative?

Power heels like a boss

I personally, right this second, know multiple women who let their boyfriends:

• beat them
• degrade them 
• control their money 
• restrict their access to their friends and families 
• tell them what they are/aren't allowed to do/say/think

It is for them that I can not and I will not smile and say that, yes, women being "allowed" to have jobs and vote is enough. It's more than that-- its challenging ourselves and those around us to change how we view girls and women. 

Being a feminist means being a voice for the women who can't or won't speak for themselves. We must teach our girls that being opinionated isn't being "bossy;" its showing potential leadership ability early; its being more than a doormat. Little girls NEED to hear that they deserve to be loved, to make their own choices, and to be respected. To DEMAND respect if they must.

 Can you imagine a guy telling me what to do? To quote Drake's The Motto, "Wish a nigga would." 

Our boys need to be taught that being a REAL man isn't being controlling- its respecting the women in his life, and walking away from anger rather than resorting to violence. Its knowing that by his strength, of course he could control any woman he chooses to, but being a MAN means choosing love and respect over threats and intimidation. 

 Maybe you're thinking,

"Brooke- I'm all for respecting women and my boyfriend doesn't beat me.... I still don't need feminism? It doesn't apply to me?"

Theres a 3ish minute Miss Representation video at the bottom of the page you should check out;  its pretty entertaining, and is clips of different news anchors and advertisements from 2013.

Here's a few of the best quotes:

• Rush Limbaugh on Beyonce and Jay Z,  "She married the rich guy, she understands its worth it to bow down." (because its not like she's successful on her own or anything...)
• Joan Rivers on Adele, "You know that song 'Rolling in the Deep?' Yeah, she should have added 'fried chicken.' "
• "I'm not saying you deserve to be raped, but..." (?????????????????)
• CNN's headline about the Steubenville Rapists says they "have a promising future and are very good students" (ummm? no jail time?)
• Male to female news anchor on the hannity show "Know your role and shut your mouth"
• Multiple references to women in power being dismissed as "hysterical" and "too emotional" when speaking logically and using facts to win arguments

We have came a very long way from sitting at home and vacuuming in pearls, but if you think you don't need feminism, because the world will treat you correctly--- I guess you must be doing something these world class athletes, politicians, reporters, and entertainers are not. 

Being pro-woman isn't being anti-man. By reading the above, however, its clear that to be female is NOT to be respected, and that is the root of the problem.

Our female senators get dismissed as "chemically imbalanced" by their colleagues and it. must. stop. Our female professional athletes are reported as "not very pretty" in the news, as if that is their job or focus. Superbowl performer BEYONCE is dismissed as "bowing down" to her husband as the reason for her success. Very gifted, Grammy award winner Adele is judged specifically on her weight.

Women can't voice their opinions without being dismissed as "moody" or told to "stop being so sensitive." Until this changes, and I can get the respect that my male peers do, I won't stop talking about it. If you don't feel the same, I really would like to know why.

"Challenge the negatives and amplify the positives"

Think about it,

Brooke